Home » Politics » The Story of Gridney-Updated

Home

Blog Directory

Register With Us

Add A Blog

Blog Archives

About Us

Search:

Home

Make This Your Home Page

Join Our Free Mailing List

Jewish Blogging FAQ


	Books

	Converting to Judaism

	Dating

	Film

	Food

	Gay Jewish

	General

	Health

	History

	Hobbies & Leisure

	Humor & Comedy

	Israel

	Kabbalah

	Lifecycle

	Music

	News

	Orthodox Judaism

	Parenting

	Politics

	Reform Judaism

	Religion

	Sexual Abuse

	Shopping

	Showbiz

	Sports

	Students

	Technology

	Travel

	Urban

	Women

	Yiddish

The views expressed in the blog entries that appear on JewishBlogging.com are those of the writers of those blogs and are not those of JewishBlogging.com. JewishBlogging.com provides this service "as is" and is reporting what other blogs are saying.

Blog Name: Yid With Lid (View Blog homepage)

Headline: The Story of Gridney-Updated

Category: Politics

Posted at: 10:52 AM - 02 Mar 2007

Please, bear with me as I tell you a true story. My Name is not Sammy I don't live in Tennessee. I used to write under my own name but a few years ago I had a falling out with a "friend" whom I knew from college. It’s the old story she was in an unhappy marriage and mine was going through a rough spot (this is a not an excuse, what we did was wrong). One thing lead to another and we began to have an inappropriate cyber relationship. IT WAS WRONG. I was Wrong and as a married woman she was just as wrong as me even though if you read her posts I am the only guilty one. Toward the end of our relationship, I stopped cybering with her and started cybering with someone else. What I didn't know was that the two were also online friends. So on the Ides of March three years ago, the two of them figured out what was going on.

After the falling out the person went absolutely nuts "hell hath no fury" as they say. She found out where I lived, had child protection services visit my house to interview my kids (the complaint was ruled unfounded of course) She had saved all off our cyber conversations printed them out and sent them to my wife (whom I had already told), My Rabbi, and even sent it to my boss. She even sent it to my 80-year-old parents…two days later my mom’s heart problems got worse and she landed in the hospital. What my mom ever did to her I will never know.

She created and maintains a pornography site that she attached to attached my old site and now to this one. She vicious emails to sites that carried my writing such as AISH, Jewsweek and JWR.

Let me say this again. What I did was wrong! I also have learned what she did was wrong too although I suppose that she will never under stand that. I can take the harassing emails etc, but she goes after my family and friends. Once I came home from Shul on Shabbos and there was a scandalous letter in my mailbox and that of my neighbors. It was put there by one of her friends who live in my area. After that my wife, who is the real victim in this whole thing, was afraid to talk to our neighbors for a good couple of months. For over a year she would send emails and packages to my wife, telling her what a sap she is for staying with me, sending more porno etc. I love my wife very much and I will go to my grave being sorry for what I did to her. But my wife did nothing to this person, there was NO reason for her to spend two years tormenting my wife, NONE!

Large amounts of money spent on lawyers and computer consultants writing letters to the web hosts of these porno sites, and even a police warrant basically left me with the fact that there was nothing much that I could do. I could sue (and if you read the lawyer’s comment from the article about Orthomom I put up yesterday, I could probably win. But the only good thing that could come out of that is that would do is take the down the sites. The bad things would be worse, making my wife go through it all again.

I changed my Internet name because, every time I would comment on a site, or a site would pick up one of my stories one of this person's minions would a comment defaming my name and telling people to go to that website http://www.pornspaces.com/gridney/, Some of what that site says about me IS true, most of it isn’t. Also it omits one very important point, what you learn in dance school, it took two to tango. So I changed my Internet name and location. I became Sammy Benoit, Yidwithlid, from Nashville. It was still me but I was trying to shield my wife from more torture.

As for me, I have spent the last three years trying to ensure that I never again hurt my family and disappoint my friends. I have been in counseling alone and with my beloved wife. We have learned to talk to each other and have grown closer than ever before. She has forgiven but will never forget and I don’t blame her.

I have become more observant and spend more of my day in Torah study trying to learn the right way to live my life. I even got a laptop that sits on the kitchen table so my wife can open up and look anytime she wants. I have worked hard at trying to rebuild the trust of my family and friends; I know I can never fully regain it.

Why am I burdening you with this? Because about two weeks ago she tracked me down, my site meter began to that she along with her friends have linked their pseudo porno site to my blog, along with posting new crap on bulletin boards. They send me harassing emails through anomysers. But they are acting like terrorists. If they truly believed in what they were doing they would have no fear of Identifying themselves. I even got an anonymous email from one of her friends begging me to contact her. It won’t happen. I wont talk to her, or any of her friends. First of all it would severely hurt my beloved wife, I will not do that again. Almost as important is that I have been able to grow, change and become a much better person, I do not need to talk to people that continue to find ways to hurt me and my family. I have moved on, and have tried to grow...they should too.

To be honest, I wanted to shut down again but my buddy Chaim from Freedom's Cost talked me out of it. Others advised me to do to her what she did to me, set up a porn site about her. I refuse that solution also, Loshen Hora is not right when she does it and it wouldn’t be right if I did it. I will not even out her by name in this post.

Our little blog community is very small; the little harassment game that she and her minions have been playing is building again. I am sure that you will begin to see more posts from her about me, posts springing up that say I am a horrible creep--I was, although not anywhere near as bad as they claim. I am sorry to have to bring this up to you, but as my readers I thought you should know. I promise that after this it will be back to regular content I am not going to run this time.

Over the last three years I have learned how powerful the love of family and friends is. I came very close to losing them. I will not destroy their trust ever again.

The most powerful thing I learned was something that I had forgotten the fact that I married a wonderful woman with such a warm heart. Every morning when I go to minyan I thank G-d that I was allowed to realize what I had while I still had it. My change and development over the passed three years is due to her, and the love we have for each other. She was very hurt during the first few months, but she has taken on my quest to become a better person OUR quest. I couldn't have done it myself and through it sound like a corny line, she DOES complete me. If I spend the rest of my life running to do her every whim, I could not even approach being as good to her as she has been to me.

I used to be an actor; I once had a director that had an interesting tradition. Before the opening curtain he would go up to each one of us, fake spitting in our faces and give us a kick in the butt. His reason was, once we have been spit on and kicked in the butt there is nothing bad that can happen to you.

As many of you know, my wife was in the hospital for most of the month of January, it looks like she may need additional and much more serious surgery right after Passover. By writing this, spitting in my own face and kicking myself in the ass (something I have been doing for three years anyway) I pray that my drama teacher was right, nothing bad can happen to me or my family.

Thank you all for listening.

Update

I ran across this chat via a link to my site:

Click here to view more chat history

...

Blogzilla from x.x.x.213 joined the chat 38 minutes ago

missydelite from x.x.x.110 joined the chat 38 minutes ago

Blogzilla: shit

Blogzilla: I can't believe he posted that

Blogzilla: MOST of it lies for his wife

missydelite: i know, what a dick

Blogzilla: really fucking sick

Blogzilla: well

Blogzilla: Sham & I are sending him a letter

Blogzilla: as the REAL person who posts about him

Blogzilla: frmo a european server

Blogzilla: want to read it?

missydelite: sure:)

Blogzilla: can you also do me a favor

Blogzilla: I want people with other ips

Blogzilla: to go to his site

Blogzilla: and even tho he won't publish it

Blogzilla: post on the thread

missydelite: i'm game

Blogzilla: that he is BLAMING the wrong person and continuing to spin things for his wife

Blogzilla: ok?

Blogzilla: http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/2007/03/story-of-gridney.html

Blogzilla: brb let me email you the draft

missydelite: ok i left one

Blogzilla: ok sent

Blogzilla: he won't publish it

Blogzilla: ok bb in a few

Blogzilla: let me help my kids to bed

Blogzilla: stay here ok?

Blogzilla: if I lose connection I will sign in again

missydelite: k

Blogzilla: back

Blogzilla: one of my bunnies decided now was the time to tell me the "never ending story"

missydelite: lol

Blogzilla: did you post?

missydelite: yep

Blogzilla: he won't publish it

Blogzilla: did you see the letter?

missydelite: yeah i did

Blogzilla: what do you think?

missydelite: i think this guy is a nutcase and someone needs to stick it to him

Blogzilla: oh believe me

Blogzilla: I will continue to

Blogzilla: but you know it could all have been solved if he'd have talked to me face to face

missydelite: well clearly he didn't have the balls to do that

Below is the comment that they drafted and submitted to my site. It is interesting that my former friend wrote the anonymous comment as it was someone else talking about HER when you can see by the chat above..it WAS her. Based on her desire to stick it to me I am sure you will see more of this on the net.

It’s good you are confessing half of your fault in this whole story. However things are not and they will never be, so black and white. There’s always a grey area. What I mean with this, is that you know you are blaming someone for a lot of things she didn't do and wasn't even aware of.
Truth is by that time, you weren’t respecting your wife. You used to frequent a brothel and writing reviews about the hookers who turned you on. During the period you were corresponding with that woman, you confessed a lot of things about your wife you didn’t like. Strange way to express your love about her, the “beloved one”. You contacted her with the simple purpose of taking her for a ride, taking full advantage of a past story you had together. You contacted her and profiled her knowing her state of mind was not good and that she still had a lot of affection for you. You are fairly sure she doesn't even KNOW his new identity because she still feels a lot of shame & guilt and would NEVER NEVER harrass your family or you.
See, on how things are not so black and white? As if it wasn’t enough, while corresponding with her, you “fell in love” with another woman in the other side of the country, with whom you were willing to have sex encounters, etc, etc, etc…
You can tell the story the way you want and picture it the way it fits you better. However, you know very well this not accurate. This is just some strategy you’re using.
I know you will delete this comment but if you are going to come clean - tell BOTH sides of the story - the whole story.